You Me and Autism

There are many blogs and websites that post on this topic.  I think it is important to read the perspective of others, particularly fellow parents, who have experienced what I am going to talk about.  Today I experienced this first hand and it left me feeling overwhelmed by the burden that ASD families carry.  So I will start with the stages of grief because it may seem fitting to talk about feelings that parents (families) experience after a diagnosis.  Keep in mind that you can actually wander in and out of these stages.  I think it helps to investigate the stages and recognize where you might be, at any given time.  Knowledge is powerful and may help you understand your feelings so that when the time comes and you find yourself experiencing grief you can identify, deal, and come out on the other side.

1. Denial-Finding and making excuses about what is happening.  This can’t be autism. This is not happening to us.
2. Guilt and Pain-Placing blame, taking blame, searching for blame, experiencing undeniable physical and emotional pain.
3. Anger-This is anger that can transfer to others.  Expect to lash out.  The anger you have is real and can be powerful.  This tends to be a destructible stage.  Take care of yourself and those you love while experiencing anger.
4. Depression and Sadness-This can be very similar to anger but tends to be less aggressive.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Again, recognize your needs and seek help.
5. The Upward Turn-By now, the ASD diagnosis has been worked over in your mind.  You have given it enough negative energy.  You should begin to think of ways to move forward.
6. Working Through-You are ready to do your research.  Find out about options. Look for your best resources.  Begin your journey.
7. Acceptance-Keep moving, set yourself up for success. You can now recognize when you may be slipping back into stages 1-4.

My hope is that you will let this sink in…Think about it for a while.  Ask yourself “Where am I right now?” Begin to think of yourself moving into the next stage.  Knowledge is Power.

Kassi